Welcome to Dave Littler’s Tall Blog of Strength! An entertainment blog about entertaining things for the purposes of entertaining people!

There’s a good many reasons why you might be here, and a good many things to see now that you are. For your ease, your convenience, your entertainment and possibly even education, I have prepared for you this small menu of “greatest hits”, so as to aid you in your perusal of my many offerings from over the course of the years during which I have maintained this blog.

First, and perhaps most popularly, is my groundbreaking “The World’s Most Terrifying Penises” series, which documents the wonders and horrors of some of the most outlandish examples of reproductive excess in the animal kingdom. This includes both video-style and text-and-picture-fashion posts, both of which are maximally excellent.

Second, my body painting work; designs and painting by me (and a variety of assistants), modelling by a number of talented models and professional photographers.

Third, my Newdog15 re-writes, in which I take the tawdry straw of japanese “hentai” pornography and spin of it the purest of comedy gold.

Fourth, my currently-ongoing ridiculous comedy pulp adventure story, “The Curse of the Rhino King”, presented both as a read-and-comprehend text-format adventure and astonishing audio-rama radio-play versions for your convenience and enjoyment.

Fifth, my thoughts on religion, with a particular emphasis on my own personal atheism and well-reasoned (I should think!) opposition to the christianity which has so plagued our western world in recent millennia.

Sixth, the bizarrely-popular saga of Vince, the Parasite King; the real-life drama of my nightmarish experiences with one of the world’s most obnoxious room-mates, which serves as a sort of cautionary tale.

There are many other buried treasures in my many years of blogging, the most obviously-entertaining of which can be found among my comedy offerings.

I hope that you find my works to be both satisfying and pleasing, and that if you should wish to friend me or comment on any of it, you should do precisely that.

-    Dave Littler,
Posting from my secret fortress in the future.
June 28th, 2029

So, after having been promised a week in which to move my stuff to my new place, it turns out that I shall in fact have but two days to get the job done; this Sunday and Monday. This is naturally a cause for distress. Nevertheless, the new place is just two short blocks from my current home, and so it seems to me that with the help of a few friends, easily-accomplished in that time.

And so do I ask you, oh Vancouver-area readers, if you have the will, the means and the opportunity to aid me in effecting this one-man exodus on either of those two days. In addition to the fine conversation to be had, those who take part will be richly rewarded with food and drink specially ordered from a business establishment of their choice! What wonders to behold!

Anyone who feels like they might have even so much as a few hours free on either day, let me know; I expect it to be more or less an all-day process both days, and any help would be appreciated.

I was giving some thought to the story of Sodom and Gomorrah the other day.

Most of you will be in broad terms familiar with this fairy tale, but let me sketch it out in brief terms anyways. In the ancient middle east, there were, according to this story, two cities named Sodom and Gomorrah which were exceptionally sexualized societies. The details are a little sketchy, but it seems that homosexuality was not frowned upon, and it is heavily implied that gang rape was a pretty socially accepted sort of thing as well. These were, in short, people who were pretty committed to this whole “sexing” thing. The christian (or, at the time, Hebrew) god, Yahweh, decides that he doesn’t care for the looks of this place too much, and, in one of his frequently not-actually-all-that-omniscient-after-all moments, decides he needs to investigate this town. He makes a deal with his sycophantic toady, Abraham, that if there’s so much as a single person in the city who conforms to his morality, then he’ll let the matter slide.

He sends a couple of his angels on a fact-finding expedition, where they lodge with Abraham’s nephew in town, Lot. While there, they make quite the impression upon the population, who mob Lot’s house in an attempt to get freaky with these angels. Lot, whose sense of family values seems to be about as shakey as that of his uncle, decides that he would rather see his daughters gang raped in the street than allow two angels who could plainly take care of themselves to be confronted by an unruly and evidently horny mob. The mob is having none of it, though, and the angels announce that, as a result, their god is going to have them murder every living thing in the cities. As such, Lot and his family are told to leave and not look back, which 75% of them manage to do (Lot’s wife bringing the family’s total grade down from a solid A+ to a merely respectable C by glancing over her shoulder as she ran and being killed by the angels for the act in a kind of puzzlingly vindictive dick move).

When they’re up in the hills, with the city being rendered a flaming and stinking ruin (the benefit that using fire AND brimstone rather than just fire is not made exactly clear, but one assumes that the unpleasant aroma is meant to be some sort of additional penalty), Lot and his two daughters settle down for the night, and his daughters demonstrate that they were not altogether untouched by the culture of their hometown, as their very first impulse is to drug and rape their father, which they do with gusto.

There’s something that occurs to me, when I think about all of this, though; even if we assume that each and every person in these cities were somehow irredeemably evil, and we assume that Yahweh has the moral prerogative to murder them all as a result (which is a central assumption within the story, so I won’t really get into it here and now beyond calling it “bullshit”), there’s still the sticky question of the children and babies which resided in town, especially vis a vis murdering them for the fact that they happened to have had the wrong parents.

( Read more... )

Well my oh me! Could it be Wednesday again so soon? Where DOES the time go?

This week, I've got another oldie but goodie, and one which I THINK is obscure enough that it should be new to a sizable enough portion of the population to whom it would be of interest.

There's this fellow on YouTube, you see. And he creates these amazing short videos by creatively editing footage from episodes of Star Trek : The Next Generation into these absurd, minimalist comedies. He has, creatively, entitled this series "The Next Generation", and there are over thirty of them thus far. While they do stand alone well on their own, there are running gags and whatnot which serve to create an overall violation of the sensibilities of anyone who's ever been a fan of the show which is at times quite breathtaking. I present for your consideration what I consider to be perhaps the best set of four episodes by means of demonstration.








So! What have you got this week, dear friends? What entertaining thing, to be found at the click of a mouse, might we enjoy as you have enjoyed it? It is time, ladies and gentlemen, to Share the Wealth!

Sorry about the lateness of this posting; the virus which I spoke of last week ended up being rather more vigorous than I had thought, and I wasn't able to have it entirely expurgated until late on Saturday, and I knew there was no way I would be able to have it up in any reasonable time.

But we return, now, with chapter 14, in which, I fear, Reginald and his crew come off as a trifle unsympathetic in places. But I suppose that's for you, the audience, to decide for yourselves.

The other day, US president Barack Obama, in his good-will tour of the far east, committed the
insufferable social gaffe of spreading good will. Specifically, while meeting Japan’s emperor, he
bowed at the waist in an approximation of the traditional Japanese gesture of greeting for a respected
figure. I say an approximation because, traditionally, one does not also shake hands while doing so,
which Obama did in this instance, but neither he nor the meaningless figurehead monarch seemed to
mind the fact that Obama bowed any more than the Emperor minded shaking hands. It was very much
a meet-you-half-way sort of gesture of politeness which no reasonable or rational human being could
honestly find fault with.


It should therefore come as no surprise, then, to learn that former US vice president and current
professional whiner, Dick Cheney, found fault with this, saying that America’s enemies would see in
this simple gesture of politeness a weakness which they could exploit. How demeaning and belittling
the sitting US president in this way is supposed to have weakened America less than seeing him act in
a polite manner is a little bit vague, as is the question of why, if Cheney is so concerned with
America’s president appearing strong, Cheney does everything in his power to weaken him a little bit
more each day. How, also, these un-named but presumably dark-skinned enemies might go about
exploiting this weakness is not a detail which he saw fit to elabourate upon; perhaps he envisions them
sending a group of Japanese emperors into the battlefield, and then, when American forces, emulating
their Commander In Chief, bowed before them, the enemy forces could take advantage of the
momentary distraction by opening fire upon them.

The more realistic* scenario is that Cheney woke up in the morning, rose from his coffin, ate his
traditional breakfast of freshly-plucked baby hearts boiled in a broth of virgins’ tears, and then
searched “Obama” on Google News to see what specific act there was in the news that day which
Cheney could publicly criticize. Finding Obama bent at the waist in one of the photographs, he grunted
“Guess that’ll have to do”, and had his bug-eating manservant call around to the usual media outlets to
see who would give him a platform for the criticisms he was even then formulating.

Indeed, I envision a parallel universe which is in all way identical to our own, save that at that moment,
Obama chose not to bow, but rather simply to shake hands. I envision, in that universe, Cheney having
words somewhat along these lines:

“President Obama’s failure to observe something as simple but as important as this culturally-
significant gesture indicates precisely what myself and others have been saying about him for some
time now. It shows his ignorance, his arrogance and his elitism. I think that America’s enemies will see
this failure on his part as a sign of weakness, if you will, and one which they can exploit. A president
which cannot be bothered to understand foreign cultures, as President Obama has shown himself to be
today, is one which will also be unable to understand the threats posed by certain radical elements
within foreign cultures. It is precisely this sort of inexperience that should have precluded him from
holding an office he is plainly unqualified and unprepared to hold, and this sort of hubris and self-
importance which keeps him so out of touch with the world around him.”

In two other, somewhat more distant parallel realities, in both of which John McCain won the 2008
presidential election, wherein McCain met with the emperor of Japan and, in one, bowed before him,
and in the other did not, the Dick Cheneys of these worlds had nothing whatsoever to say on the topic,
recognizing it as so trivial as to be unworthy of comment.

*It's all relative, really.

It is once again Wednesday, and with this turning of the week, we once again find ourselves in line for that most exciting and fruitful of occasions; Share the Wealth Wednesday!

For those who do not yet know, and for those who have forgotten, allow me to elucidate in brief: Every Wednesday, we share some Neat Thing we have discovered on the net which others can share in and enjoy with no more than a few mouse clicks. A YouTube video, a video game, a webcomic, or whatever. While things which are new are always to be preferred, since things which have not existed for long are more likely to be new and novel to a larger number of people, the fact remains that even the very oldest of websites are as new as the day’s sunrise to someone who’s never seen them. Therefore, each Wednesday, we Share the Wealth, posting about these Neat Things here, for the benefit and enjoyment of all.

For my own contribution this week, I put truth to my own words by presenting something which has existed for the better part of a decade but which I only became aware of a month or so ago. There exists in the city of Austin, Texas, a public access television show entitled “The Atheist Experience”, which exists as a sort of outreach program for a group called the Atheist Community of Austin (or ACA, if you prefer), serving not only to discuss a wide range of topics – though predominantly religious and philosophical by nature - from an atheistic standpoint, both to educate the larger, largely christian community of Texas, as to who and what atheists are, and to show that they’re not the monstrous devil-worshippers that their preachers would have them believe they are.

In this, they are only partially successful.

Because, you see, this is Texas. And Texans are ORNERY. They’re aggressive, brash and loud. This applies to both the atheists on the show and their largely-christian callers. For you see, this is a call-in show, and their calls are always awesome, being, as they are, dialogues between two equally abrasive and loud groups with wildly differing world-views. I absolutely love watching this show. Doing so is possible because they not only also stream their show online – giving it a global audience – they also have an impressive archive of past shows going back some four years or so, which are freely downloadable and/or viewable online. I have lately been going through them at a rate of two or three episodes per week, and absolutely loving them. Give ‘er a look, eh wot?

Here's one of my favourite episodes, in which the hosts discuss in some depth the prevelant and ongoing meme of "Those angry atheists".




So! What about you folks? Share the Wealth!

I have to offer apologies for not having a new chapter of The Curse of the Rhino King up yesterday. My computer was – and to some extent still is – suffering from one of the most cunning and aggravating viruses I’ve ever seen. Among its various and dreadful effects, it made it impossible to make use of any of my computer’s sound equipment and also made it impossible for any of my programs to access the internet. While I’ve dealt with the bulk of the problems (save for the niggling little detail that I still haven’t managed to get that computer online), I didn’t manage to do so until late last night, and as such, it wasn’t possible to get anything ready. I promise to have one ready early on Saturday, on-schedule, though, even if I have to post it from my crappy emergency backup computer (from which I’m posting right now).

This morning, Angela Merkel, the chancellor of Germany, took part in the Armistice Day ceremony at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier in Paris, France. This is the first time a German Chancellor has done so since the practice began after WW2. France's president, Nicolas Sarkozy, called this an "historic act", and indeed it was.

As I had mentioned a month or so prior, as a consequence of the various misdeeds of Vince, the Parasite King, I’m being evicted from my home of six and a half years. The process is going... less smoothly than I might like.

For the past ten years, I have, over and over again, been forced to move, quite against my will, as a result of the actions or decisions of others. Each time, I have found myself thrust into a new living situation without very much control over where or in what situation I would end up. This time, though, I had thought? This time could be different.

I had spoken to a friend of mine who was in a similarly horrible living situation. While not wishing to air his dirty laundry, even anonymously, suffice it to say that at around the same time, it became plain that he would also be needing to move. He and I spoke, and agreed we would get a two bedroom place together for December 1st, and indeed, had begun looking at a number of prospective apartments together. Things were looking quite promising! And then, abruptly, he went silent on me. No phone calls, no e-mails, and no response to any of the same from me. Finally, on the night of November 1st, I learned from his mother that he had decided to get a place on his own.

This did not sit too well with me.

For starters, it meant that I had no room-mate, and insufficient time to find a replacement. And housing costs in the greater Vancouver area make a one bedroom apartment of the sort of size I would be comfortable living in prohibitively expensive. To say nothing of the personal offense, of which – again, out of a desire not to air his dirty laundry in public – I will not here speak. Secondarily, there was the creeping horror at the realization that there was a very real possibility that I would need to put out an ad on Craigslist or somesuch in order to find a replacement. This was the very dark path which led me to live with Vince in the first place, and there is no joy whatsoever in the notion of opening the door to that sort of horror once again.

I can afford a two bedroom place on my own for a month or two, though, and I hope that in that time, I can find someone stable and secure enough that I could in good conscience allow them to live with me, but this still represents a significant risk and significant inconvenience, relative to the “clear sailing” state I had looked forwards to existing in by now as of this time last month. And so I’m actively apartment hunting, hoping to secure something worthwhile by this weekend.

I figure I might just as well toss this out there, on the off chance that the fates might yet conspire to redeem this situation for me with nothing more than a few lines of text: Is there anyone among my readership who is in need or in want of a new home in the Burnaby/Vancouver area in the next two months? I find that I prefer the notion of finding someone with whom I stand the chance of having some degree of familiarity with prior to cohabitation to that of living with a complete stranger whose only connection to me is the quirk of happenstance which would have them reading my ad before I happen to accept someone else who does likewise.

Wednesday morning is upon us once more, and so with it comes that most sacred of traditions: Share the Wealth Wednesday!

For those of you who are new here, and for those whose memories do not extend back as far as the murky depths of pre-history from which this practice emerges (by which I mean two weeks ago), every Wednesday, we post some neat thing that we’ve found in our journeys through the internet, which others can enjoy with but the click of a mouse. It can be anything – a YouTube video, a webcomic, a video game, etc – so long as it is freely and instantly accessible to anyone who cares to enjoy it. Theoretically, as more and more links accrue during the course of the day, this post, and posts from previous Wednesdays will become a repository of awesome distractions and oddities. New stuff is always preferred, since stuff you haven’t seen before is that much less likely to be something anyone else has seen, but the wealth of links you share need not necessarily be as fresh as all that; it need only be NEAT.

For my own contribution, allow me to direct you to Venture Bros Online. A website which makes the dubious claim to legality (which I nevertheless choose for the sake of argument to believe is valid) in presenting every episode of Venture Bros to date for your free online viewing.

I’ve spoken of Venture Bros a time or two, and the show has been on the air long enough that it shouldn’t be an enigma to most media savvy people, but it bears, for the sake of this post, a short description. Venture Bros started off as a parody of a number of “boy adventurer” cartoons; primarily Johnny Quest, with a bit of Scooby-Doo and Hardy Boys thrown in there for good measure, but has fairly swiftly matured and mutated into its own distinct entity. The humour is very much intended for an adult audience, and indeed by season three, there’s a certain amount of swearing an nudity which, though censored in the televised version, is on full display on the DVDs.

My personal favourite episode of the series to date, which I feel really captures the essence of what makes this show great, is a second season episode entitled “Escape to the House of Mummies, Part 2”.


This is the middle part of a ridiculously complex adventure involving a high-tech ancient Egyptian cult, time travel, mummies and death traps. There is no part one and there is no part three; you’re literally only getting the middle part of the adventure, with no setup and no resolution. What’s even better is that the bulk of the episode has Rusty Venture – a washed-up, embittered middle-aged former boy adventurer-turned failed mad scientist – getting into an absurd, petty and meaningless dispute with Doctor Orpheus – a necromancer and single parent who rents out a suite of rooms from Rusty – over a point of personal pride, which results in them becoming so completely distracted and side-tracked that they utterly forget about the adventure at hand, leaving the rest of the cast to their fates, which we occasionally see in a series of increasingly bizarre cut-aways as their adventure continues. It’s absolute comedy gold. Anyways! There’s my contribution. What’ve you got to share, my friends? It’s time to share the wealth!

And lo! Chapter 12 cometh!

I wish to extend my sincere thanks to Paula West, who responded admirably to my request for a female voice actor some days ago, the first fruits of whose labours can be heard here.

People sometimes ask me how I can get through some of my lines without laughing, and I'm usually rather blase about this; I laugh out loud when I think of the lines in the first place, but usually by the time it comes to actually recording them, I'm familiar enough with them that I'm no longer that effected by them.

This is the first chapter I really had difficulty getting through some of the lines; they were funny enough that I kept on laughing as I was delivering them. Take that for what it's worth.

A bit of historical esoterica here: The Charles Kingsley referenced in this chapter was a real person, though he did not have a seditious brother named Frederick. I learned of this man as I was researching the life and times of King Edward, and knew immediately how I wanted to incorporate him into the story.




( Read the Full Text of Chapter 12 below the Cut )

So what the fuck is going on here? I’ve given myself about three months of lead time for Chapter 12 of The Curse of the Rhino King, and during that time, I’ve had no fewer than three different women tell me that they would perform the voice of the former pirate, Gwenhwyvac Guinee for the Audio-Rama version of the story, and several more say that they MIGHT.

And yet, I now find myself with four days left before the day when it’s meant to go online, and not one of this multiplicity has delivered!

I find myself in this moment of dark desperation in a position of asking any woman among my readership who is in possession of a microphone and who has the capacity of producing noises with her vocal cords to aid me in this grand and noble endeavour.

For those who missed it, I re-produce the description of the character below the cut. What I need, at the moment, is about ten lines of dialogue. If you can aid me in this, you will earn not only my profound gratitude, but a lump sum of fifteen Reader Points; a currency which I am just now instituting, and which I’m sure will be of some significance or import at some point down the road.

Have you ever heard of the Antikythera Mechanism?


This was a clockwork computer which was recovered from an ancient shipwreck off the coast of Greece back in the year 1990. The device is simply amazing in a number of different ways; it seems to have been built some time around the year 100 BCE, and employs the sort of technology which the world would not see again until the 18th century; a complexity and miniaturization of gears that was literally MILLENNIA ahead of its time. What's more, it seems to have been built to keep track of the movements of the earth, moon, sun, stars and planets, presumably in aid of nautical navigation. Whoever designed this beauty seems to have had a solid grasp of the fact that the Earth revolved around the sun, rather then vice versa. In this, too, this inventer was thousands of years ahead of the rest of the world.

Imagine the mind behind this feat. The ancient world contains virtually nothing resembling this. There were other devices which employed gears and even a certain degree of clockwork, so it's not entirely unprecedented, but to sit down and take principles like this and construct a functioning computer capable of working out precise positions and calculations like this in a world where there was simply nothing else of its kind that had ever been conceived... and then subsequently vanished again, not to be seen again for nearly two thousand years? Imagine the loneliness and isolation of an intellect like that in the ancient world. Imagine being able to produce such notions with such primitive tools and resources to draw upon. Who knows what such a mind would be capable of with the technology and accumulated knowledge we have today.

And we don't even know their name. There is some suggestion that this may have been the device mentioned in an account by Cicero, in which he spoke of an instrument "recently constructed by our friend Posidonius, which at each revolution reproduces the same motions of the sun, the moon and the five planets." Certainly, it's difficult to imagine that there could have been two such men at one time in history while all around them they were surrounded by savagery and ignorance, but who knows? 

It's at one time depressing to think of society possessing even one person capable of producing a work of genius like this and then utterly losing it, losing even the memory of it for countless centuries, rather than building upon it... and also tantalizing to speculate as to what might have been, if the tradition of this sort of invention had persisted instead of vanishing utterly. I'm frankly shocked that there doesn't seem to be any historical fiction, or indeed ALTERNATE historical fiction based upon this.

Okay, folks, it's wednesday! Time to share the wealth! What neat things have you discovered this week to share with the group?

This week, I discovered a site I genuinely resent not having known about years ago. I speak of a treasure trove of time-wasting whimsy called The Independent Gaming Source.

If I had known about this game years ago, I surely would have discovered gems like Cave Story and Spelunky long, long before I did. This website is basically a regularly-updated blog of small, independent groups of game designers and their output. It's really quite staggering to see just how much neat stuff is being produced all at once outside of the professional mainstream, and just how genuinely good some of it is. A lot of what they link to can be downloaded and/or played online for free, and most of the rest of it can be obtained really cheaply.

I have been particularly entranced by an incredibly silly little game called Runman: Race Around the World.




Deliberately drawn in the style of childlike doodles, with a soundtrack of folk songs from the early 20th century, this game is just so unimaginably cute as to put a big, sloppy grin on my face every time I play it. The fact that the gameplay is fast, clever and well-designed certainly doesn't hurt either. The video above tells the tale rather nicely; if that doesn't make you want to give it a go, nothing I'm going to say is going to get that job done.

I've only gone back about 13 pages in the blog's archives and already downloaded five games, some of which I haven't even gotten around to trying yet. I'm sure I'll be able to fritter away many otherwise-productive hours with what else is to be found here, and so too, I'm sure, can you.

So! What have you got this week, folks?

This one has one odd little moment which I feel is worth commenting on. There's a minor and nameless character who appears around 3/4 of the way through the chapter, and I was working on this at the time that my friend Heather and her friend Jesse were briefly visiting. I asked Jesse if he'd do the voice of this character for me, and he agreed. There was one line, though, which begins "I suppose there's sense in that, sir...", which, even after twenty or so takes, he just COULD NOT NAIL. Each and every time, he inserted the word "a" between "there's" and "sense", eve though I corrected him after each and every take. Finally, I realized that there was simply something mis-wired in his head, and he would never get the line right, even if we did a thousand takes, and left it alone.

True story.

Anyways! I put a ton of work into this one, for reasons which will become clear at around the half-way mark. So, while I always appreciate those two or three people who regularly comment on new chapters, I would LOVE to hear from a couple of the others out there who are listening to and enjoying this work.
( Read the Full Text of Chapter 10 Below the Cut!  )

This morning I wrote a letter to christian super-evangelist, Ray Comfort, with regards to a point he has made a few hundred million times before, and which I felt I needed some clarification on. I thus present the complete text of the e-mail I sent him below.

***


Dear Mr. Comfort.

Earlier today, I read an interview with you on the topic of your abridged version of The Origin of the Species, and specifically your introduction to the book. In it, you made reference to the science of evolution's “undeniable connection” to the holocaust. This is not a new claim, and not one that I am not unfamiliar with, but on this occasion, I felt motivated to investigate the claim for myself. I found that, broadly speaking, there is some truth to what you say; some of Hitler’s stated justifications for the holocaust do indeed include his misinterpretations and misapplications of the science of evolution.

This says nothing whatsoever about whether or not the science of evolution is valid or true, though; merely whether or not it is of benefit to society that people be aware of it. Assuming, for the sake of argument, then, that you are correct, and that without having this body of knowledge to misinterpret and misapply as Hitler did, the holocaust would not have taken place (which I am dubious about; it seems to me that he would have found some other justification to hang his irrational hatred of “the other” on, just as so many creeds, philosophies and religions have been abused for the purposes of over the course of human history), I wonder if you will then apply this same standard to other bodies of knowledge without which he also could not have accomplished the horrible deeds that he did?

For example, will I hear a similar denouncement of the science of metallurgy for its undeniable connection to the holocaust? Without access to this body of knowledge, Hitler’s forces would have had no train tracks, no trains, no bullets, no gas chambers, no metal fences, among many, many other implements which were critical to his execution of the many “undesirables” during the holocaust.

Will I be hearing of your outrage at the science of masonry, and its undeniable connection to the holocaust? Without the ability to produce bricks and construct buildings of them, the nazis would have been unable to house the infrastructure of their murderous war machine, and their death camps would surely not have been the inescapable prisons that they were. Nobody will claim that masonry is not a valid field of knowledge, but neither can the claim be made that without it, the nazis would have been all but powerless to carry out their extermination regime.

Indeed, even the body of knowledge of language itself has the very same undeniable connection to the holocaust that the science of evolution does. Indeed, it has an even deeper and more fundamental connection; without knowledge of language, Hitler would never even have had access to the ideas that he did, would never have been able to convey them to the German people, and would never have been able to conduct his orders to the countless thousands of devout Christians who worked as death camp guards and operators*, without whose enthusiastic support, Hitler’s will could never have been executed. Will I therefore be hearing you tar language itself with the same brush that you apply to evolution? And if so, how do you plan on doing so without employing the Nazi-related science of language?

I ask these questions because I know that as a man of god and as a man of learning such as yourself, honesty, integrity and consistency are indispensable and invaluable, and that your condemnation of these bodies of knowledge must surely be merely waiting in the wings alongside your condemnation of the body of knowledge which is the science of evolution, and that you have simply not found the time or opportunity to make clear your moral outrage that these knowledges should be allowed to be taught, given their shared history of nazism. If this is the case, I am more than prepared not only to hear this condemnation from you, but to tell all who would listen that you are indeed a man of conviction, of principle and of integrity, and that you are willing to apply the same standards to all of the sciences which Hitler and his forces made use of in the same manner and to the same extent, and indeed for the same reasons.

I thank you for your time and attention, sir, and eagerly await your reply.


•    I realize that a lesser man than yourself might be tempted into falling prey to a “no true Scotsman” fallacy in responding to this point, but I have every confidence in your ability to rise above such obvious traps.