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Welcome all!

Welcome to Dave Littler’s Tall Blog of Strength! An entertainment blog about entertaining things for the purposes of entertaining people!

There’s a good many reasons why you might be here, and a good many things to see now that you are. For your ease, your convenience, your entertainment and possibly even education, I have prepared for you this small menu of “greatest hits”, so as to aid you in your perusal of my many offerings from over the course of the years during which I have maintained this blog.

First, and perhaps most popularly, is my groundbreaking “The World’s Most Terrifying Penises” series, which documents the wonders and horrors of some of the most outlandish examples of reproductive excess in the animal kingdom. This includes both video-style and text-and-picture-fashion posts, both of which are maximally excellent.

Second, my body painting work; designs and painting by me (and a variety of assistants), modelling by a number of talented models and professional photographers.

Third, my Newdog15 re-writes, in which I take the tawdry straw of japanese “hentai” pornography and spin of it the purest of comedy gold.

Fourth, my currently-ongoing ridiculous comedy pulp adventure story, “The Curse of the Rhino King”, presented both as a read-and-comprehend text-format adventure and astonishing audio-rama radio-play versions for your convenience and enjoyment.

Fifth, my thoughts on religion, with a particular emphasis on my own personal atheism and well-reasoned (I should think!) opposition to the christianity which has so plagued our western world in recent millennia.

Sixth, the bizarrely-popular saga of Vince, the Parasite King; the real-life drama of my nightmarish experiences with one of the world’s most obnoxious room-mates, which serves as a sort of cautionary tale.

There are many other buried treasures in my many years of blogging, the most obviously-entertaining of which can be found among my comedy offerings.

I hope that you find my works to be both satisfying and pleasing, and that if you should wish to friend me or comment on any of it, you should do precisely that.

-    Dave Littler,
Posting from my secret fortress in the future.
June 28th, 2029

Comments

( 21 comments — Leave a comment or comments. )
paul_reeve
30th Oct, 2009 10:58 (UTC)
Dave, I must admit I'm a little annoyed by having to scroll down to find the newest entry every time I load up your page. Feel free to delete this comment, but I think it would be good if you at least made the details of this entry click-through, so that I can see at a glance if anything's gone up since the last time I looked at your page.
dave_littler
30th Oct, 2009 11:29 (UTC)
I get what you're saying, but this serves a very specific purpose; whenever anyone visits my journal for the first time, they'll be immediately greeted by not only a sense of what sort of a journal this is, but also a selection of its best and brightest entries.

A lot of times, I'll be off posting in this or that Livejournal community, someone will take an interest in my comments or contribution, they'll click my name and have a look at what's here. This way, no matter what I may have been posting about recently whenever they do so, their first impression should always be a positive and engaging one.

It's playing to the "social networking" side of Livejournal.
paul_reeve
30th Oct, 2009 11:33 (UTC)
I get the idea, but there must be some better way to do it. You could make it a click-through so the next entry is visible without scrolling, at least?
dave_littler
30th Oct, 2009 11:42 (UTC)
I'll see if I can devise a way, but I must admit I'm having difficulty conceiving of one.

It seems to me that a single push of the "page down" key on your leyboard ought to be sufficient for the task, and no more onerous than a single mouse click.
paul_reeve
30th Oct, 2009 11:54 (UTC)
*You* having trouble coming up with a creative solution to a little design problem? That's not the Dave I know!

On my laptop page-down requires holding down the Function key and pressing the down arrow, and it takes two of those to get to the actual text of the most recent entry, a move that also makes that entry's title disappear — so seeing both title and body text takes finer manipulations.

The point isn't that it's genuinely hard work to see the second entry. It's just that seeing a huge block of the same old text each time I load up your blog, forever, seems inelegant and pointless.

There must be some good way to add a highly visible and easily recognized "New here?" link to this entry, or to a page with the same content, somewhere at the top. This guy, for example, has a small collection of highly visible customized links at the very top of his Livejournal:
http://awanderingbard.livejournal.com/
dave_littler
30th Oct, 2009 12:33 (UTC)
Oh, WELL! I could do THAT easily enough. The thing is, I know that people are almost indescribably lazy, and if I put up a "New here? Click here!" Entry up top, nobody - NOBODY - will ever, ever, ever click that link. It will be like unto a shrine dedicated to the concepts of laziness, apathy and incuriosity, undisturbed and pristine for all the ages to come.

No, if I want people to see such text, I need to put it front and centre, where they cannot help but read it.
paul_reeve
30th Oct, 2009 14:58 (UTC)
While this might be a way to keep the attention of lazy casual strangers, it's an odd way to treat your regular readers. If you leave it like this, yours will be the only site among dozens I regularly look at for freshly updated content (blogs, newspapers, journals, news aggregators, etc) where no trace whatsoever of that new content is visible when I first load the page! And while I won't say I'm not going to visit your site for that reason, I do wish you would find some other way to do what you're doing here. Nothing like a challenge to your ingenuity, old friend!
zeddidragon
1st Nov, 2009 11:58 (UTC)
Here's what you do:

Read Dave's journal from your Friends page. That first post there won't show up because it's set in the future. At least, that's how my friend's page act.
dave_littler
1st Nov, 2009 12:01 (UTC)
Zeddidragon's wisdom is strong!

http://paul-reeve.livejournal.com/friends?show=P

Just use this as your bookmark, and your problem is solved.
paul_reeve
1st Nov, 2009 12:26 (UTC)
Meh. It does work! But your actual blog's "first entry" is still a gigantic block of unchanging text filling up the visible area upon loading, as well as after one Page Down. No site whose main attraction is regular fresh content should hide that content from the users arriving on the page. But whatever, it's your blog, and who am I to question the design sensibilities of the maker of Dave Littler's New Deal?

Is there an RSS feed for this thing?
zeddidragon
1st Nov, 2009 18:11 (UTC)
There sure is! It's located at the bottom of the left sidebar. Right-clicking and choosing "copy link address" gave me this:

http://dave-littler.livejournal.com/data/rss
gracilejenn
18th Nov, 2009 08:07 (UTC)
I'm not quite sure how I ended up at your journal, but I'm very glad I did! I just wanted to say that I've enjoyed it, and that I am adding you so I can continue to be amazed by your wit.
dave_littler
18th Nov, 2009 08:31 (UTC)
And a pleasure to have you! And no less so for the fact that your having done so brings the total number to have done so to an even two hundred; a milestone by any measure!

I hope you stick around, enjoy that which is to come, and comment on that which you enjoy. :)
heythereyazy
3rd Dec, 2009 04:06 (UTC)
i hope you dont mind me adding you! i stumbled appon your journal after hours of searching around for some information for an essay.. somehow, searching about the jury system lead to your post from over a year ago about being called in for jury duty. though i must say it didn't help my essay even the slightest bit, it was a good read, so i couldn't help but add you~ :3
heythereyazy
3rd Dec, 2009 04:09 (UTC)
err
*upon, even.
dave_littler
3rd Dec, 2009 12:31 (UTC)
Oh, well, hardly a surprise there! My Tall Blog of Strength is the #1 jury-related blog on the web (at least as reckoned by my spontaneously-generated regulatory board, The Commision for Quality in Flim-Flam, Malarky and Spurious Claims)!

Anyways! Welcome aboard. Have a look around my tags there, see what you like, and by all means, post a comment or two when the spirit moves you. The converaations here can be fairly robust.
maikamariel
29th Dec, 2009 02:50 (UTC)
Found you through
The penis stuff is nightmare-inducing and hilarious at the same time! Just read the stuff about the angelfish--the entire thing reminds me of that birthing scene in Twilight. "Think that shit was romantic? Lemme tell you about the angelfish mating/feeding rituals..."

Also, I added you! :)

dave_littler
29th Dec, 2009 05:35 (UTC)
Ah, after watching the first Twilight film, I really had no interest in reading or watching any more of the series. I prefer my vampires more monstrous and predatory and less... sparkly.

http://dave-littler.livejournal.com/tag/vampire

Nevertheless, welcome aboard! I hope you enjoy what you find here, and comment upon what you like. :)
waitingforsnark
28th Jan, 2010 05:39 (UTC)
Bodypainting
I bet you could find some cool ways to meld this into your work as an artist:http://www.trendoriginal.com/2009/06/14/electric-tattoo-bare-body-paint/
Bare is a conductive ink that is applied directly onto the skin allowing the creation of custom electronic circuitry.
ext_194079
12th Feb, 2010 02:53 (UTC)
Easy click-through solution for the people annoyed by this future post.
Hey Dave, I've seen those earlier comments from some of your readers who don't like scrolling down to see the newest post.

In concern for them, I've devised a solution you can implement with a quick edit.

You have to do two things:

1. At the end of the post, just after "June 28th 2029", add the following html code:
<a name="new"></a>
This will create an invisible anchor.

2. At the beginning of the post, put the following code:
<a href="#new">skip to new content</a>
This creates a link that moves to the anchor when clicked.

Readers should use the following URL in their bookmarks:
http://dave-littler.livejournal.com/#new

That way, they won't even have to click the link. (but it'll be there if they arrive from elsewhere)
snapper521
26th Mar, 2010 23:56 (UTC)
Random fact: Upon listening to you talk in one of your youtube videos, you are amazingly like one of my best friends. To the point I had to check to make sure you aren't him. Obviously you aren't, but it kind of really freaked me out. LOL He has a similar way of being dramatic while speaking. Anyway, none of that really matters but... :-) just thought I would throw that out there. He found it interesting so I thought you might.
( 21 comments — Leave a comment or comments. )

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