Good day, friends and fellows! As promised, my latest re-write is ready for consumption by the public! 

For those of you new and unfamilliar with the process, allow me to explain in brief: For reasons of my own - principal among them the entertainment of those depraved souls out there in the ether who share my comic sensibilities - I have taken to taking japanese horrific pornography and turning them into english-language pornographic horrors, and in so doing, crafting the finest of comedy gold.

Previous such works are to be found here.

And now, without further delay...



( Seventeen additional pages below the cut!  )

My latest pornography-turned-comedy re-write is at long, long last complete, and ready for presentation. Enjoy! 



( (Sixteen pages - all of them uncensored - below the cut) )As always, it is my sincere hope that you, my treasured readeers have enjoyed the fruits of my labours. Comments, as always, are both welcome and required.

Rejoice and be merry! Less than a month after the release of Luck be an Empty Vessel for my Poisonous, Flesh-Destroying Seed Tonight, comes the Newdog15's most politically-charged thriller of all time...

For this masterwork, I am joined by a dear friend, one Doctor Ultimo, who I have for some eight years now hoped to collaborate with creatively. Alas, for all his towering intellect and sparkling wit, never has his genius been committed to text in this form before. Frankly, I suspect that his never-ending one man war on his hated enemy, the wicked King of Portugal, has dominated so much of his time that such pursuits have been frankly impossible. With the completion of this work, however, he has tasted the sweet juice of the fruit of success and found it pleasing. Already he speaks of our next collaboration. I can only hope the oppressed people of Portugal can afford to go without their living folk hero for another few days in the near future.

Now, without further ado...
( Click, dear readers, and hear a tale of sinister foreign powers and the brave men who stand against them! )

It bears pointing out, it seems to me, in the interests of prudence, that the above link perhaps ought not to be clicked upon whilst at your workplace, as some of the images in the tale woven therein have some faintly sexual undertones, which - depending upon your employer - may not reflect favourably upon your place in the workforce.

After far, far too long a delay, my latest opus is at long last complete and ready for consumption by a public no doubt shuddering with need and quivering with barely-contained anticipation.

Read and enjoy, dear friends. And do remember: This work, as with anything I ever have or ever shall present within the NewDog15 body of work, is quite spectacularly not safe for work.




( Read on, dear readers, read on! The bringer of jolity demands it! )

I've been humming and hawing about whether or not to post about this for some months now (in part because I know there are some people, like my mother, who read this journal and who really, really wouldn't "get" what I'm doing here), but my need to share the bizarre fruits of my genius is such that I cannot in all good conscience keep it to myself  any longer(if one uses the phrase "in all good conscience" interchangeably with "stand the lack of attention derived in the event that I"). 

First some background: There is a country which we call Japan. Japan is strange and bad. Their pornography is in particular an assault upon the functions of the human mind. I've often said that anything which comes out of Japan must - in addition to whatever other function a given product or service may serve - work to erode the concept of human dignity. Japanese shoes? They must encase your feet and erode human dignity. Japanese cars? They must drive you from place to place and erode human dignity. Japanese toothpaste? It must clean your teeth and erode human dignity. Their pornography? Well, you get the idea. Orgasms and degradation, you know. 

And then there's the North American fan community for these things. There is a large community of people who dedicate themselves to the task of accurately and faithfully translating this Japanese pornography for consumption by an english-speaking audiences. Additionally, there is a community of "re-writers" whose skill in the english language is only slightly greater than their entirely nonexistent skills in Japanese. They provide "re-writes" of these pornographic works which are entirely unconcerned with the original text or story of the works they're plastering their appalling english text over-top of. Most notorious and prolific of these is a fellow known as "OldDog51". 

A few months ago, I decided I would begin to create my own parody re-writes; making mockery of both the original content AND of the terrible re-writes of them, crafting an online identity as "NewDog15", and going out and about to seed the internet with this business. The reactions have been nearly uniformally positive; I have not shown these to one person who has not found them to be hilarious. This having been said... they remain, at their core, Japanese pornography. So while they're to be read as comedy and not as masturbatory aids, there will be those more sensitive among my readers who might find the content a trifle uncomfortable (and indeed, depending upon where you live, possibly even illegal) to view. So you know. Fair warning. 

http://img.7chan.org/h/res/9177.html

(hilariously, 7Chan has instituted a policy whereby any post which begins a thread with a post with no text will helpfully have the text "I suck dicks" as a placeholder; a policy I learned about while posting this thread)

http://www.mediafire.com/?oyuurdpc3cg

http://rapidshare.com/files/111276185/freezer_full_of_dreams__comedy_rewrite_by_newdog15_.rar.html