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"Barack the Usurper"

  • 8th Apr, 2009 at 4:38 AM
Cocktopus
It seems that the other day, it somehow made the news that some US serviceman out there somewhere had bought into the tired old "fake birth certificate" meme that has been floating around in the American right-wing media for the past year or so and referred to President Obama as a "Usurper". While this would not under ordinary circumstances be of any interest or note beyond a sort of "Hunh. Slow news day, I guess" reaction, it HAS had the delightfully unexpected consequence of giving rise to some of the best darned fanfiction I've ever read.

I take no credit for the following, but post it in its entirety and with credit given.





Know, O prince...  )

(taken from http://www.poe-news.com/forums/sp.php?pi=1001962752 )

Oh! And I would be remiss if I did not also mention THIS:

http://www.newsarama.com/comics/030931-DDP-Obama.html

It seems that Devil's Due Publishing is producing a very similar comic book series, hillariously entitled "BARACK THE BARBARIAN: QUEST FOR THE TREASURE OF STIMULI", which I fully intend to procure when it's released. It sounds so amazingly, balls-to-the-wall crazy that it HAS to be worth at least a look.

On discrimination against bad ideas.

  • 26th Mar, 2009 at 8:35 AM
Cocktopus

I'm sure that many of

you have heard, recently, about the recent resolution passed by representatives of various countries dominated by the ridiculous bullshit religion of Islam, within the United Nations Council on Human Rights, that any criticism of their ridiculous and laughable faith be considered a violation of the human rights of those who believe in their inane and nonsensical fairy tales.

Naturally, I think this is a marvelous and well-founded idea. Those primitive-minded half-wits deserve all of the protection they can possibly receive from having the obvious fact that they're living their lives in the manner of deluded children who cannot separate fantasy from reality pointed out to them or spoken aloud, and anyone who plainly articulates the fact that one would have to have the mind of a retarded cave-man to ever believe any of the laughable rubbish they've dedicated their lives to ought to be treated as the beasts and criminals that they are for doing so.

It is with this in mind that I should like to see certain other obviously dangerous and/or horrible behaviours enshrined and protected by law using similar language, so that we should all have the protection that these deluded cretins seek to enjoy, and to this end, I have prepared the following thorough though non-exhaustive list.

1) The United Nations does hereby prohibit the criticism or questioning, by law-enforcement officers or others, of the act of drunken driving. The driving of a vehicle while inebriated is a precious and sacred activity for an entire class of irresponsible morons the world over, and the criticism of that activity constitutes a persecution by the sober and responsible majority of the home countries of these peoples, which no civilized person can ethically justify. The United Nations therefore condemns any individual or body of individuals who would seek to caution against this activity, question the judgement of those who partake in it or seek legal action against or compensation from damages or death arising from such actions.

2) The United Nations does hereby condemn those whose actions since the dawn of nautical history constitute a systematic and deliberate persecution of piracy. Those who live the pirate lifestyle are entirely entitled to their chosen lifestyle, and yet at all times and at all places, they have been treated as criminals and worse by those who attempt to stop them from hijacking their ships. This sort of victimization of pirates by those who would prevent said pirates from stealing the cargo of their ships and/or take part in the murder and/or enslavement of the passengers and/or crews of these ships is a clear and gross violation of the pirates' human rights, and a premeditated and systematic attempt to eradicate their lifestyle from the Earth. It is therefore resolved that those who attempt to prevent pirates from these and related acts of piracy are to be treated as criminals, and the various coastal nations of the world are encouraged to draft laws to prosecute those who would thus persecute these practitioners of this ancient and time-honoured sea-faring lifestyle.

3) The United Nations does hereby condemn those women whose actions and/or omission of actions vis a vis withholding of sexual favours constitute a persecution of obnoxious assholes crudely propositioning them in public places. Throughout the world, men are routinely denigrated, marginalized and denied the opportunity to "give women what they really need" based upon nothing more than their chosen and personally cherished activities vis a vis shouting at, groping and verbally abusing women with aggressive sexual innuendo. As these actions serve the purpose of preventing them from the basic human right of reproduction, it is therefore to be considered tantamount to forced sterilization and indeed genocide. This blatant violation of their human rights is therefore held to be unethical, and all member-states of the UN are encouraged in the strongest of terms to draft laws which would see women who refuse to indulge these advances prosecuted and sentenced to public service and/or prison terms in men's penitentiaries, where they may pay their debt to society.

4) The United Nations does hereby condemn those who criticize idiots, jackasses and morons of all stripes. Though idiots constitute large and in many cases majority populations throughout the world, they are routinely made to feel like fools by those more intelligent, better-informed and more thoughtful than themselves. This constitutes a gross violation of their human rights, as does any disagreement with or refusal to act upon any idiotic ideas which they might offer up or decide to act upon. It is therefore resolved that all nations are strongly encouraged to draft laws which dictate criminal charges be brought against those who disagree with or offer any meaningful critique of any idiotic person or idea, including, but not limited to, the drafting of said laws.

(Note that this last acts as something of a catch-all for the previous three, and indeed for the criticism of Islam, and to the same extent, all other religions.)

I expect to see these resolutions passed in brisk order.

 

For the benefit of any Muslim readers who may be offended by the false impression that I am comparing their insipid religion to drunk driving, piracy and verbal abuse of women, I wish it to be known that I am comparing them ONLY in terms of the fact that - like the practice of their asinine religion - these are bad and destructive ideas which the world would do better without, and that no other offense or slight is intended against their basic human rights.

Cocktopus

Preamble: For those of you unfamilliar with the workings of the Canadian government, much of this will be, shall we say, somewhat foreign to you. Suffice it to say that the Governor-General of Canada - the Queen's representative in Canada - has granted our loathesome right-wing thug of a Prime Minister's request to shut down the government for two months, because said Prime Minister realized that the next vote taken by the government would result in his losing power, and he couldn't stand to see this happen. This is one of the only powers actually open to the Governor General, and I've never heard of it being abused in this manner before.

I've never been a fan of the monarchy, but I've always before been able to shrug it off as a quaint and faintly embarrassing relic; an irrelevant anachronism and nothing more. Today, though, I am angry about it as I never have been before.

The Governor-General - an unelected figure who is unanswerable to anyone or anything save for an elderly foreign aristocrat - has decided that she has the right to stand in the way of the lawful operations of the parliament and suspend the workings of our elected government. And as disgusted as I am by the fact that this appendix in the anatomy of our government has decided to become inflamed and in need of removal, I am no less disgusted by Harper's decision to incite her to do so.

And Harper himself. I am paralyzed by indecision. Such a wealth of invectives I could aim at him. Where does one begin?

They say that all bullies are at their core cowards, and Harper has definitely demonstrated that where he is concerned, this is true. Not merely a bully, but also an idiot, he decided to pick a fight with a group who over-powered and out-numbered him. And then, when to his utter shock and horror, they decided to fight back, he ran screaming to mommy, begging her to make the bad democracy go away and leave him alone.

It has been said before by wiser and more well-informed people than I that Harper rules as a tyrant when given the opportunity, and certainly he has proven this true this past week. While his surrogates are out there scare mongering and shouting his hateful, partisan talking points from the rooftops, accusing the other parties of attempting to make a power grab born entirely out of greed, Harper himself has decided that if he cannot lead the country, then nobody can. He would rather shut down the parliament for TWO MONTHS in a time of crisis than see somebody else lead it. The stench of projection hanging about these conservatives bleating about the leaders of the other parties being desperate for power is thick and suffocating.

Short weeks ago, I was actually DEFENDING the man as a necessary evil. "The pendulum needs to swing both left and right in order for a democracy to function healthily. At the moment, it's swung somewhat rightwards. All things in their time", I said. But now, upon seeing the pendulum begin its leftward swing, he seized it in his hands and broke it off entirely, preventing the flow of power from taking its natural course, thus demonstrating his fundamental contempt for the democratic practices of our country.

I freely acknowledge that a majority of Canadians object to the notion of a coalition government as it is currently being proposed, but I also know that nearly two thirds of Canadians entrusted members of Parliament of parties other than the Conservatives to make the choices they thought best for the country, and so they were doing before the agent of a foreign power prevented them from doing so. I feel it is necessary to point out that given the constant stream of invectives and scary language that Harper and his cronies have been delivering from their bully pulpit, I wonder how much of that objection on the part of the Canadian people is born out of an informed opinion and how much out of the irrational fear which our esteemed leader has worked so hard to inculcate in his program of gutter politics this past week.

If I take any comfort in this prorogation of parliament, it's that the leaders of the parties who the majority of the population voted for will have this time to inform the population of the facts of the situation and perhaps beat back the flames of fear which the Conservatives are and will be so frantically fanning in the mean time.

 

Cross-posted to NDP
Cocktopus

Last night, I had cause to look at my user profile here at Livejournal, and was pleasantly surprised to see that I was now on seventy-five friends lists. I was aware that there had been something of an upswing lately, but this was nevertheless rather dramatic. Indeed, it struck me as something of a milestone. Something which called for a celebration or commemoration of some sort.

But how to go about it? How to honour all of those visitors who come to read this journal? They come for so very many reasons. Some for my body painting artwork. Some for my comedy. Some for my philosophical musings. Some few who are friends and family. So how do I produce something which is fit and suitable for one and all, when their interests are so diverse? Their tastes so varied? And then, like a lightning bolt, it struck me: 

Cocks.

Everyone loves cock, right? Be they men who enjoy owning and possessing them, women who do likewise, or lesbians who enjoy laughing at the whole arrangement, there's something there for everyone. And how better to cater to this universal pleasure than with a feature which I felt could best be called...

 
We begin this to-be-regular feature with - somewhat paradoxically - something which is not actually a penis per se, but which I think all will agree deserves a place on this list. Indeed, a seminal place on it. I speak, dear friends, of the great white shark.

Ladies, imagine for a moment, if you would, if in the place of the gentle curvature of the male glans at the end of the member, there were instead a terrible clawed hand, at the tip of each of the fingers of which were sharp and curved talons, reaching out to you... reaching INTO you. Grasping hold, its sharp and muscular digits seizing your delicate inner workings, and beginning to vigorously thrust against them. No, you are not having a nightmare, and NOR is this Japan. This is the sex life of the female shark.


The great white shark is one of the most primordial and completely horrifying animals on earth; a dead-eyed and relentless killer which fills the nightmares of many a brave and noble human being. Is it any wonder that the manner in which it copulates should be at least as terrifying? The male shark's member (or members, as the case may be, for - as astute readers may have noted - there are TWO) is called a "clasper", for reasons which ought to be obvious: Their purpose is to clasp on to the lady parts of the shark's would-be mate. And not merely hold on to the outside for the sake of stability. Oh, no! But to hold on to the inner workings, and whilst in there, shoot its precious genetic load. The typical shark only uses one at a time (a redundancy which I think ought to earn it a bit of envy), but there is at least one species of shark which is at once both more enterprising and more kinky than most - the Tope Shark (Galeorhinus galeus) - which has been observed using both at once (a feat which I'm sure is the envy of a significantly lesser though non-zero number of male humans and a distressing thought for the preponderance of females).

The above picture is of a young and immature shark, and you will note that already it possesses male organs of a size and number sufficient to intimidate amongst the most hearty of human females. I assure you, they only get bigger with age. This photo did the rounds on the internet a year or so ago, with people ominously talking about a "mutant shark with two legs". Such is not the case, as was pointed out by Professor P.Z. Myers at his science blog, Pharyngula, but rather one of the deepest and most unsettling mysteries of the briny deep which is his abiding fascination. The deep, that is. Not the shark cocks.

That I know of.

Not that I'm judging.

Cocktopus

For those of you who have no interest in Canadian politics, you might want to skip over this one. For those who are interested in principle but don't know anything about the functioning of the Canadian federal government, a super-quick primer: 

a quick primer under the cut )

A point which I haven't heard pointed out very much during this discussion is that in a very real sense, the majority of Canadians voted AGAINST Harper's Conservatives. They voted for one of three (well, four, but you know.) other parties, and Harper made it clear that he was not going to work with those other parties, in essence declaring that he didn't care about the will of the majority of Canadian voters. A Coalition government made up of the other three parties would by definition represent the interests of the majority of voters, and what's more, it would REQUIRE cooperation between them, ensuring that a variety of interests would be reflected in a way that could never, ever happen under the leadership of an autocrat like Harper.

On a personal note, I'm reasonably happy with the prospect  of NDP MPs getting a quarter of the available cabinet positions. It seems the very least the Liberals could make available, in light of the fact that the NDP actually got about twice as many total votes as the Liberals, even if the unfortunate distribution of those votes saw us getting less than half the seats in Parliament that the liberals now enjoy. The fact of the matter is that this represents more power than the NDP has had at any point in my memory, which I would very much like to see parlayed into a greater appearance of legitimacy on the national stage in the next election; showing that the NDP can effectively govern even in this limited capacity on a national level can only help our electoral chances.

On a broader note, I also feel this would be very, very good for the country as a whole in terms of peoples' engagement with politics. The most recent election had a DREADFUL turnout, thanks mostly to the conviction on most voters' parts that the election would basically net us a result of "more of the same" (which it did), and more to the point, more failure to reflect the will of the electorate. With this dramatic turn, suddenly, not only do we not see more of the same, we see the direct inverse of the pre-election results, and a result where every party in some measure matters. This can only be good for getting people more excited and engaged than they have been in YEARS. This is always a good thing for a healthy democracy.

We'll see how things go on Monday, where - unless Harper decides to be super-obstructionist and the Governor General decides to indulge him in his petulance - we'll see this re-arrangement of Parliament take place. For the first time in a long time, I wish I had a TV, so I could watch it happen. Maybe I'll go over to a friend's place. If I can think of a friend who has a TV. Hm.

No Jury Duty for me.

  • 10th Sep, 2008 at 7:25 AM
Cocktopus

Yesterday, I went down to the Superior Court, answering a summons for Jury Duty. It was an interesting experience, but one which was somewhat futile and frustrating in that I spent about eight hours there and didn't actually get selected for any of the three trials they had me attend the Jury panels for.

This is kind of disappointing; I had actually gotten kind of excited about it. It seemed like an exciting change of pace from my actual job (and would pay slightly better, once the trial hit the 50 day mark). Especially disappointing (and potentially interesting0 was the third one.

This third one started very strangely. The Jury Panel I was with (about 100 people who had also been summoned on the same day) were all brought into a large, strange courtroom with all this super-high-tech equipment (I would later learn there's more than 3 kilometers of electronic cables in that one room), bullet-proof barricades, and about a half-dozen desks within the court.



We were then asked if any of us felt like taking part in a nine-month trial. If not, we were free to leave immediately. All but twelve of us did, and I was one of the few to hang around. I thought to myself, "Hey, it'll be a great story to tell once the trial is over, it'll be meaningful work, and I get to call my bosses and tell them 'Hey, guess what? I need nine or ten months off. Yeah, no. You're legally required to give it to me and keep my job available to me for when I get back".

We're all then taken aside again and told that all but one space on the jury has already been taken up, and they need just one more, of which one of the twelve of us is going to be chosen. We were led, shortly later, back into the courtroom, where we listened to a lengthy, lengthy list of charges. Twenty-three counts, involving extortion, death threats, conspiracy, possession of massive, massive piles of grenades, pistols, automatic rifles and the like. The defendants?

Four members of the Hells Angels. 

We were taken out of the courtroom again, and told we  would be led into the courtroom in a random order, and questioned by the judge to see how qualified we might be for this position. I got picked second. My heart was racing. Though I realized that there was an element of personal risk involved in a trial involving a heavily-armed organized crime ring such as this, I also realized that, rationally speaking, very few jurors in such cases ever actually face personal harm as a consequence of their roll. I was all for it. This was going to be an adventure.

The judge asked me about my personal biases and such, and I was able to truthfully answer that while I was of course aware of the Hell's Angels, I was never interested in them enough to read enough to personally bias me. Finally, the various lawyers involved, one after another, said "No objections", "We find this one acceptable", etc. , until finally we came to the one accused who had bizarrely decided to represent himself. "Challenge, your honour", he said. This is essentially court-speak for "I don't want this guy on my jury". It was the final hurdle for me to overcome, and unfortunately, I did not clear it. I was on my way home.

In perfect honesty, I can't say I resent the outing too much. It certainly was an interesting and enlightening experience, and I had never actually been inside of the courthouse before, which was a grand sight to behold. All the same, I do wish I hadn't walked away disappointed. I was all for it. Ah. well.

A new species has evolved

  • 23rd Apr, 2008 at 11:40 AM
Cocktopus

I just read a great little article on the documentation of a new type of lizard which has evolved on a little island in the adriatic. Long story short: About 37 years ago, some scientists transplanted a group of these lizards from one island to another; the latter being climatologically similar, but having different enough environmental factors to exert different selection pressures on the little immigrants. 

Over the course of just under four decades, they managed to mutate some brand new organs in their stomach, and their behavior, diets, and bone structures have changed in some very noticable ways. I'm not sure if they're still capable of breeding with the parent population on their original island or not - the article doesn't go into that - but I wouldn't be shocked if they could... for now. It's very possible that in time they'll become too distinct. 

As to how this has happened so quickly, the best I can offer at this moment in time is that this is basically how spieciation happens in an optimal situation; ten lizards (five female, five male) were placed alone on this island where their old physical structures were no longer ideal, but not instantly deadly.  Such a low breeding population and frequent inbreeding is optimal for rapid mutation and change. This sort of thing often turns out to be disastrous, producing birth defects and such which dooms the population, but every so often, as in this case, the mutations hit a winning streak, so to speak, and produce novel new organs and structures which help the population to thrive. 

The whole article can be read here   with some additional material and commentary here.

So, bookmark this story. Next time a christian creationist tells you that mutations never produce new information, that mutations are always harmful, or that we've never seen a new spiecies evolve, you have your ready refutation.

A liar or a fool?

  • 23rd Apr, 2008 at 6:34 AM
Cocktopus
I had a f rustrating night last night. 

While at work, I frequently listen to KGO on the radio - a San Fransisco-based AM radio station - and during their 10:00 to 1:00 slot there's a sort of rotating cast of hosts. This week, the slot is occupied by the extremely partisan Clinton-supporter Christine Craft. 

I have taken exception to her approach to the Clinton/Obama race for some time now; I have likened listening to her speak on the topic of Obama to "wandering, lost, through a cornfield comprised entirely of strawmen". Last night, I sort of reached a boiling point. As anyone who has the stomach and inclination to watch the news knows, Clinton eked out a single-digit 9% victory over Obama in the Pennsylvania primary. Not a statistically significant victory; she's basically reduced his lead from 180-odd candidates to 170-odd candidates. His lead is more secure now than it was before, in that she has very little opportunity to make up that difference in the few primaries that remain. 

But that's all secondary to my point. Christine Craft immediately came on the air at 10:00 PM and started talking about how Clinton won a "double digit" victory over Obama. The facts don't bear her up here, and what's more, I seemed to recall her having yesterday said that if she didn't win by double digits, the race was essentially over and done with. I could be wrong, and I'll be checking the audio archives in just a minute or so, but regardless, the fact remained that Clinton did not win by "double digits", unless - as I would later say - one counts the first decimal place. To say she did is not only dishonest but manipulative, since it gives the impression that her candidate accomplished more than she did. And so I e-mailed her with a link to a news story which pointed this out. What followed was a conversation which tested my patience to the limit...


And at the end, I'm forced to wonder if she even knew what the hell we were talking about. All I wanted - and I think this should be clear, reading these e-mails - is for her to stop lying over the air and claiming that Clinton won by "double digits". Somehow this woman just couldn't seem to grasp that. I pride myself on being a fairly erudite individual; a good and clear communicator. I have grown so used to Ms. Craft distorting the truth over the air that I went through the night listening to her continue to triumphantly crow about "double digits" with increasing frustration and contempt, shouting "liar!" at the radio. I wonder, though... is it possible that Christine is so dense that she literally just didn't know what the hell was going on? 

Bah. I need to learn to just change the channel.

Disrupting the Olympic Torch Ceremony

  • 10th Apr, 2008 at 1:54 PM
Cocktopus

These past few days, I'm sure you've all shared my abject disgust of the protestors in San Fransisco doing their level best to turn the Olympic Torch ceremony into something political. These people - no matter what their intentions may be - are all basically barbarians, one and all. This ceremony has a long and prestigeous history, and is rightly called "sacred" in many circles. We observe it today in rememberance of the very first Olympic Torch ceremony: One invented by Adolf Hitler's propogandist, Leni Riefenstahl, in order to glorify Nazi Germany and by extension, the masterhood of the Aryan race

 To turn something like that into something political... it's enough to turn the stomach. By disrespecting the ceremony, you're disrespecting not JUST the People's Republic of China and all of it's repressive, inhuman practices. You're disrespecting the very fundamental legacy of Naziism and indeed Adolf Hitler himself. Where do people get off? 

Sarcasm-free: The torch ceremony is a nazi propoganda tool which for some reason the tradition-tards of the world have perpetuated for seventy-two years. I'd be glad to see it put to bed, and anyone who thinks there's anything sacred about it is nothing more than an unthinking beast.

Mika Brzezinski of MNSBC rips Paris report

  • 4th Jul, 2007 at 11:32 AM
Cocktopus

I recently had this video pointed out to me on the atheist community. It truly is a joy to behold; an actual journalist saying and doing on a live broadcast exactly what I would be doing for each of the two or three days I would last in such an environment. She's apparently received an overwhelming outpouring of support from around the world, which I hope the mainstream media at large pays attention to. We do not actually care about stories about people like Ms. Hilton, who are essentially famous for being famous, and would actually prefer some substantive reporting, if we may.

On Dawkins and Agression

  • 10th Apr, 2007 at 5:01 PM
Cocktopus
 

So, I was reading the latest issue of Skeptical Inquirer (Volume 31, Number 2; March/April 2007), and within it there was a story entitled A Free-for-All on Science and Religion, by George Johnson. It was about a conference last November in San Diego, on the topic of decreasing the role of religion in society. Many familiar names were in attendance, including Professor Richard Dawkins.

As is nearly always the case when Professor Dawkins speaks in a public forum, there were calls – even, notably, from his fellow atheists – that he was too strident, too aggressive, too insulting, and that he risked alienating the very people who he sought to convince. Anyone familiar with his work will understand where these complaints come from. Indeed, I myself have friends who I’ve needed to have this conversation with a number of times. But ultimately, what I have to say on the topic is this:

Bullshit.

Professor Dawkins is saying exactly what we all know, in our heart of hearts, but are too timid (some of us, at least!) to say aloud. Religion is a mental illness, and inflicting it upon children is a form of child abuse. Really, is there any atheist who does not, in their heart of hearts, know this to be the case? I very much doubt it. If we were as used to complete sincerity and earnestness as I would like for us to be, none of us would ever think to look askance at such discourse. The problem is that we live in a society which trains us to be insincere and disingenuous. All of us have heard christians tell us "I’ll pray for you", and known full well – FULL WELL – that the christian saying it was being dishonest in his intent. It’s passive-aggressive nonsense. What makes it that much worse is the fact that they MEAN for it to be taken as an insult, we KNOW it for an insult… and yet the FORM must be respected. We must not be honest. We must not be earnest. We must hide our intentions underneath layers of bullshit and dishonesty. The truth CAN be shown, but only through the filtering haze of lies.

This, it seems to me, is what people want from Professor Dawkins and those like him.

No. I say, let’s put it right out there. Let’s be entirely up-front, direct and sincere. If someone is going to be SO offended at us calling religion for what we really see it for being… that someone is unlikely to be swayed by reason and logic anyways. This person is an emotional thinker, swayed by their passions and wants, not by facts and by science. We lose nothing by alienating someone who is predisposed towards being our enemy for life anyways. We may, however, gain some support from people who are capable of admiring and appreciating honesty and straightforwardness. And really, isn’t that sort of person to be preferred as an ally anyways?

The complaint against him, from the likes of those who would call him – self-contradictorily - an ‘atheist fundamentalist’ stems from something deeper than a distaste for what he is saying and doing per se. It stems from a distaste for direct discourse, honesty in discussion, and the willingness to confront conventional wisdom head-on when appeasement and conniving are possible. I find this trait to be nearly as loathsome as I find religion itself, and I for one will have nothing to do with it.

In his day, Galileo was imprisoned in his home for the final decades of his life not for his heretical belief that the world was round; he was imprisoned for his willingness to say so to the faces of the people who didn’t want to hear it. In the end, though, history vindicated him, and we hold him to be one of the great heroes and visionaries of the past thousand years. The atheists today who speak so vitriolically against Professor Dawkins are the very same people who, those centuries ago, would have advised Galileo to just be quiet about his heresy, pretend that the world is flat, and try not to rock the boat too much. After all, you’ll only make enemies of the chistians by doing something foolish like telling them that they’re demonstrably wrong. Would it not be better to allow them that there’s room for both flat-Earth thinking and round-Earth thinking, instead of being so unspeakably RUDE as to confront them with the proof that their claims are manifestly incorrect?

No. No appeasement. No retreat. History will vindicate us, and people like Professor Dawkins will be remembered not as rude and obnoxious, but as courageous and bold. Backing down now will only embolden enemies of logic and science who need little enough prompting to be emboldened as it is. The stakes are too high to grant them even this small victory.

Cocktopus


Thisi s pretty interesting. 

It's no secret that this October has been a pretty bad month for the US Occupation forces in Iraq. It's also no secret that they low-ball their fatality figures by a significant margin. This, though, seems like it might be a rather exceptional case of both. 

Apparantly, on ctober 10th, there was a major, major attack on a US army base near Baghdad, called Camp Falcon. A number of international news agencies reported on it, but the US media scarcely touched it at all. And when I say major, I mean major. Apparantly this was the US forces' most important ammunition depot in Iraq, and a location where literally thousands of troops were stationed. While the US military doesn't deny the attack took place, it claims there were "no injuries or deaths", and that it was "of no tactical importance". 

Watch the following video and tell me if either of these claims seem likely. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gjEnTlN7cjk

That massive, blinding flash of white light which illuminates the entire sky for many miles around... what was that? There are reports that the US forces were keeping a nuclear device in there, and that what we're seeing is the detonation of this device. Certainly, the staggering magnitude of the explosion would seem to indicate this is a possibility. 

In the hours after the attack, there were reports of plane loads of casualties being removed from the area. And then... nothing. No reports of any injuries or deaths. No coverage of any kind. No downplaying it as a few isolated casualties. Just... nothing. A blanket denial that it had any impact whatsoever. 

I've found quite a ew sites out there asking questions; what the hell happened that day? Here's a good archive I located : http://www.globalresearch.ca/index.php?context=viewArticle&code=MEY20061023&articleId=3577

Now, if this was as bad and as important a hit as it looked, I can't honestly say I blame the US occupational forces for keeping it quiet; they don't want their enemies to know that the Iraqi resistance has scored a major hit. Also, more cynically, I'm betting the Republican party really, really doesn't want their public to know about this, so close to a major national election. 

Still, it is cause to wonder. The video is chilling to watch, and the dead silence on the topic from the US establishment is fucking chilling.

Cocktopus

I just read this article on the Guardian online. This sounds really, really pleasing to me. It sounds like a genuine effort to bring an entire generation online. One line, near the end, which I found entirely heartwarming, was this: 

"Our goal is to provide children around the world with new opportunities to explore, experiment, and express themselves. Laptops are both a window and a tool: a window into the world and a tool with which to think."

This is the sort of broad-scale, well-intentioned and forward-thinking bits of social engineering which I wish more world leaders would institute. Bravo to Libya, I say.

http://technology.guardian.co.uk/news/story/0,,1920033,00.html?gusrc=rss&feed=1

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Cocktopus
Crazed squirrel ransacks house 

Press Association
Wednesday August 16, 2006
Guardian Unlimited

The RSPCA have never heard of a squirrel getting down a chimney before. Photograph: Public domain
The RSPCA have never heard of a squirrel getting down a chimney before.
 
A family today told how a squirrel went berserk and trashed their house after falling down their chimney.


***

This made me moan sadly while giggling madly. Give 'er a read.
Cocktopus

Most everyone I've spoken to in the past week about the situation in Lebanon has responded to it about the same way as I have: They all sort of know that the media is full of shit, Israel are the bad guys here, but they aren't really clear on the specifics. 

I found this great article at CounterPunch, by Alexander Cockburn, which is brief, informative, and apt to fill you with rage. Go read. You've got the five minutes to spare for this, trust me.
Cocktopus

So I heard this morning that Joe “Pope Benedict 16” Ratzinger visited Auschwitz yesterday to commemorate the horrors of the holocaust. Given the complicity of the Catholic church in this most terrible denial and abnegation of civilization, I could understand this event in principle. An apology is certainly in order. Indeed, tens of millions of apologies are in order, to each of the survivors and all of their families. What old man Joe had in mind, though, was a little bit different.

 

“How could god allow this to happen”, he mused to the crowd. The moment I heard this, I was filled with a seething contempt and rage. You don’t get to ask that question, Joe. You don’t have the moral authority to do so. Your church encouraged and enabled the nazis to do this. The organization which you embody at the moment wanted it to happen. Your organization states that that which the pope wants, god wants. Therefore, given the then-pope’s endorsement of these events, god – your god, whose will you purportedly represent – was plainly quite happy to see all those Jews dead. Don’t beseech a god who apparently endorses a genocide for moral clarity with regards to that very act of genocide. You would do as well to ask a psychopath to explain the morality behind his own murders.  

 

But it goes deeper than that. God doesn’t exist. As far that catholic church goes, he’s nothing more than an anthropomorphism of their own political agenda. But Joe, personally, doesn’t get to ask this question, because he’s responsible personally for the holocaust. No, not just because he’s a German. Because he was a nazi soldier. He was drafted into the German army and agreed to serve during WW2. He, like so many of his generation, put their well-being and security before any kind of morality or principles. I have heard the argument that he had no choice but to serve. I say bullshit. A man who feels that a person who claims to have no moral choice has no right whatsoever to lead any kind of spiritual movement or organization. I have heard the argument that he – a single anti-arcraft gunner – being absent from the war would have made no difference. I say bullshit. If herr Hitler had started his war and all of his soldiers had set down their guns, refusing to fight, there would have been no war. Each and every nazi soldier is exactly equally culpable with every other one for the war, and all of its consequences. He is precisely as guilty for every atrocity which occurred in that war as every other soldier who agreed to fight in it.

 

So, Joe, if you want to know how your fucking imaginary god allowed this to happen, allow me to provide you with an answer: It was allowed to happen because you and people like you were cowardly, inhuman monsters, with no sense of moral responsibility to your fellow human beings. It was allowed to happen because you soft and craven worms felt it was better to place the authority for all moral judgements in the hands of a psychopath than it was to use your own fucking brains to make the right and necessary judgements yourself. It was allowed to happen because you and people like you lacked the strength of character to prevent it from happening.

 

You don’t get to ask that question, Joe. And you know why? Because you’re asking it sixty fucking years too late. If you – and people like you - had asked it sixty years ago, then maybe it wouldn’t have happened, and then we wouldn’t now be in a position to demand the very same question of you that you would have us ask your imaginary friend. When Jeffy, in Family Circus, points at his imaginary friend “Not Me”, to place blame upon when he has himself has done, it’s amusing and juvenile. When you do the same with your make-believe god, it’s sickening. So don’t even bother to ask the question unless you get down on your fucking bloodstained hands and knees and beg the world for forgiveness when you answer your own question by begging the world’s forgiveness for having the moral paucity to have caused it to have happened.

 

You did this. You. Your generation. Your culture. Your religion. Your entire way of life. Your willingness to abrogate your moral responsibility to others. You cowardly, weak, spineless, amoral, idiotic, tyrant-pandering, genocide-enabling monsters. 

 

Question answered.

 

 

 

Tangentially, it has occurred to me, while writing this, that precisely the same argument applies to each and every American soldier who is participating in the current Iraq war. The information existed, prior to the war, that Bush’s pretenses were just that. Tens of millions of people who marched against the war in the months leading up to it knew. The presumably hundreds of millions more who supported us but, for whatever reason, did not march, also knew. You cannot plead ignorance. Ignorance only denotes your irresponsibility in failing to seek out information pertaining to the act you were about to perform, and irresponsibility does not dispel responsibility. Quite the contrary, it demonstrates your poor moral character. When you are about to take the life of another, you had damned well be certain be sure that your decision to do so is the right one. The information was free to be had. Your failure to learn it or act upon it is no more an excuse than a plea of “I was only following orders”, which, as you may recall, did not shield the nazis in the Nuremberg trials either. The only distinction I can see is that those soldiers who followed orders so as to retain their freedom until the moment they came home to begin working to end the war, through politics and civil actions, and only this because America is still putatively a democracy today, where Germany was not, as of WW2. Every American soldier who has joined the military since the information pertaining to Bush’s lies became available, and every one who has not acted to end this immoral war is exactly as guilty for every single atrocity in Iraq as Bush and Rumsfeld themselves.

 

A second tangent: While writing this, this logic occurred to me: Christianity precludes true morality, because it entails abrogating your moral responsibility to a tyrannical god. The fact that this god does not exist except as an anthropomorphism of christians’ own desire to be treated as children, with all the lack of responsibility this entails, is meaningless. Moral abrogation is moral abrogation, regardless of whether or not you put a bearded human face on it.   

Venezuela makes ready for US invasion

  • 4th Mar, 2006 at 4:12 PM
Cocktopus
So, as I'm sure you all know, last year, christian wingnut and close Bush supporter, Pat Robertson called for the assasination of Venezualan president, Hugo Chavez. Not surprisingly, no criminal charges were laid against him within the US, though one might reasonably have expected, in a just society, that inciting people to murder, especially by someone with the influence that Robertson has, that they would. 

It is also no secret that the US government has made attempts to oust Chavez, which have thus far been unsuccessfull, and that the primary motivating factor behind this is two-fold: 

First, Venezuala controls a large supply of oil. Dick Cheney, as an evil robot from the future, uses oil for blood, and consumes an estimated 3000 gallons of oil a day in the process of killing babies and blighting the earth. Consequentially, the US's foreign policy in the past six years has hinged upon receiving a steady flow of oil into the US. Okay, not really, but you know. Many a truth spoken in jest and all that. 

Second, Venezuala's oil supplies are all controlled by the government-owned firm, Citgo. This means that no amount of foreign investment will ever yield control of these oil wells to US-friendly interests peacefully. 

Therefore, the US has had a fairly unfriendly attitude towards Hugo Chavez lately, doing their usual smear campaign against him; calling him an evil dictator (apparantly without irony, in that Chavez was voted in democratically, and enjoys the popular support of his people; neither of which are claims that Bush can make). 

Chavez is a realist. He can see that, at some point in the next few years, he may come under attack either by US forces, or by forces which are funded and organized by the US (such as what happened in Chile, on September 11th, 1973). He can also see that Iraq has held US forces at bay for three years by means of Geurilla tactics. Therefore, he is basing his national defence policy upon this notion. 

This Guardian article details this somewhat

500,000 citizens are beginning training in Guerilla warfare tactics, in order to defend their nation against a US invasion, and 1,500,000 more are slated to begin this training in the next little while. The Venezuelan government is even considering military training mandatory for all adults. 

To which I say, kudos, and good thinking, Mr. Chavez. 

Well, this is fucking terrifying...

  • 3rd Mar, 2006 at 7:16 AM
Cocktopus
Okay, you're all familliar with Halliburton, right? 

No? Okay, really quick and dirty: It's the company which is run by Dick Cheney; the evil, baby-eating, robotic vice president of the United States. Granted, he claims to have severed ties with it when he became VP, but this is a known lie. Ever since Bush came into power, Halliburton has been given contracts for every disaster from Iraq to the aftermath of hurricane Katrina.  No-bid contracts, that is: No other company would ever be considered, because job #1 of the United states government, since Cheney got into the White house, has been making Halliburton money. Terrible stuff. 

So, this morning, I learned that Halliburton has been given a $385,000,000 contract to build special "Detention Facilities" throughout the US, in preparation for the "support the rapid development of new programs". What new programs might require detention centres built all over the country by a private company which is owned by the Vice President? The contract, unsurprisingly, does not stipulate. 

Anyone wo's familliar with Halliburton knows that these are extremely shady characters, and that Cheney, in addition to being a nightmare given flesh, is probably the worst thing to have happened to american democracy in living memory. The idea of them setting up these centres with such ambiguously-worded intent ought to give people some very serious pause. 

I want my brother to come home from Arizona, and bring his family with him. I want him to do it now. That country is scaring the piss out of me. I'm not kidding in the slightest. 

Here, read up on it yourselves:

http://news.google.com/news?num=20&hl=en&spell=1&tab=wn&ie=UTF-8&q=KBR+detention+facilities

This is at once both funny and sad

  • 23rd Sep, 2005 at 7:28 PM
Cocktopus

So it seems there's this poor kid in Iraq who looks entirely too much like George W. Bush for his own good. He gets teased and taunted about it continuously, and he wishes to see an end to it, not least of all for the perfectly valid reason that "he has killed many children in Iraq."

More here

I just hope for this kid's sake he's an eraly bloomer and can get to work on growing a beard by his early teens. Regardless of what his father says, I think that Bush is going to be remembered with fury and hatred for decades to come out there (and, you know, basically everywhere else, too).

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