dave_littler (dave_littler) wrote,
dave_littler
dave_littler

Star Wars 3; Script Doctoring.

I figure you've all seen Star Wars 3 by now, so I can not worry about spoilers too much.

 

I saw the film on the second or third day. I basically enjoyed it. It's clever.

This having been said, my inner script doctor comes out when I think about one scene in there.

There's this scene where Palpatine is watching this...performance. It's pretty incomprehensible, what we're seeing. There are these giant floating blobs of water in the middle of this stadium place, just hovering there in the air, and there are these... fish things... swimming around in them, all gracefull, like. It looks like a dance type thing. Palpatine is sitting in a balcony seat, and Anakin shows up to talk to him. I would love to insert this dialogue into that scene just before the conversation gets heavy:

***

Anakin sits down in the seat beside Palpatine and leans back, a quizical look on his face. Both men observe the spectacle before them.

Anakin raises one eyebrow dubiously, and glances over at Palpatine. Palpatine smiles indulgently.

Ankakin: "So... what is this... exactly?"

Palpatine: "Honestly, I'll be damned if I know. But here, my boy. Watch this."

Palpatine reaches under his seat and pulls out a large steel bucked full of white onions. He places it upon his lap. He picks out a big one, and then, holding it up before him, he looks over at Anakin and smiles. Anakin cocks his head to one side, uncomprehending. Palpating heaves back, and then tosses the onion INTO the hovering sphere of water far in front of him. The fish thing inside the blob of water instantly dies for it.

Palpatine grins widely, and points with one finger at the spectacle.

Palpatine: "Look! It's going right for it!"

Anakin breaks out into a huge smile, looks over to the Chancellor, and then reaches for the bucket tentatively.

Anakin: "May I?"

Palpatine: (Indulgently) "By all means, my dear boy."

Anakin picks one out, weighs it in his hand, and then tosses it into the water blob. Palpatine smiles widely, and tosses another one himself. Both men share a good belly laugh together, and Palpatine slaps Anakin on the shoulder.

Both lean back into their chairs.

Palpatine: "So... on to more serious business".

***

I got to get me a job as a script doctor.

 

Tags: comedy, films, script doctoring, writing
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