December 28th, 2009

Cocktopus

The Longest Cab of my Life

So, last night, I was at work, when I see some fellow waiting anxiously in the lobby. I didn't know him, but greeted him anyways. He asked how I was doing ("Cold, but well enough otherwise, I suppose", I responded), and asked him how he was.

"Just waiting for the longest cab of my life," he replied.

Now, obviously I knew what he meant. "Waiting for the longest-to-arrive cab of my life", or "Waiting the longest I ever have for a cab in my life," or somesuch. But I would not be me if I did not take the opportunity to be both pointlessly pedantic and melodramatic about it.

"At least sixteen or twenty feet, I should hope!" I responded, "One fit to dwarf every other cab on the road!" 

Gamely, he replied, "I've already sent back six of them for not being long enough! "

"I should hope so!" I responded, before launching into an oratory which ran - to the best of my recollection - like this: 



He stared at me, blankly, for a few long seconds, before making the standard mis-observation for this sort of situation, to which I responded with my standard disgusted tirade, before storming off, back to my office, to brood furiously.