I was talking earlier today with my friend Brett, who is a prison guard.
Me: "So, do you have any free time in the next week or so?"
Brett: "Not really. I'm working a sixteen hour shift at the prison on christmas day."
Me: "Should be some wicked-awesome holiday pay there."
Brettt: "Oh, yeah, and sixteen hours with the inmates. What could be more fun?"
Me: "You know what you should do? You should go wearing a santa hat that day, and wear it all shift long. And you should go walking down the way in front of the cells with a big list, and as you walk by each one, you look into the cell, look at your list, and say 'Naughty.", 'Naughty.', 'Naughty.'"
Brett: "And just put naughty for every one. Because they're in prison, so obviously they're all naughty.
Me: "That's what the joke hinges on, yeah."
Brett: "And one time, I should stop in front of one cell for like a solid minute and really scrutinize one guy before going 'Naaaauuuughty."
Me: "I think this is a solid plan."
Note: This is not actually a solid plan.